Sometimes life just seems to throw everything in your way. That's exactly what happened to me recently. Moving through these times can be really hard. Writing this in the midst of still reeling from what has been beating me down, I'll try to provide a couple of insights from this perspective.
We teach body awareness. Where are you feeling emotions? What do they feel like? But what happens when that awareness seems shut down or cut off? I've been dealing with this for about a week where the happy, joyful feelings are overwhelmed by a dark, empty, heaviness. It feels like a personal black hole is sucking the energy right from me. Sound familiar?
It's not that I'm depressed or overly sad. In fact, on the surface I feel kind of normal (though my wife may something else.) It's when I look just below my surface mind and the daily distractions that I find this heaviness still lurking. The onset felt like getting punched in the gut. And even though there was no big event to trigger it, the small events piled up to eventually land a fatal blow.
But here's what I know. Moments of contraction like this provide an anchoring for growth. Even in the center of the pain, uncertainty, questions, and God-I-wish-this-would-just-stop-ness, we are growing by going deeper within ourselves. My great teacher, Dr. Sue Morter, shared that during this time it's our attention that needs focus. Don't hide from the feeling or label it with some pathology. (I know if I spoke to a doctor they would tell me I'm depressed.) Face it and look into it. No matter how hard. I'm afraid of looking into the darkness. It's taking every bit of courage and energy I have to go there. Yet I know that the only way to feel the light is to bring it.
As you face your fears, doubts, and darkness, know that others are carrying their own light into the same darkness. That's how we become in-lightened or enlightened. Here's to your light.
We teach body awareness. Where are you feeling emotions? What do they feel like? But what happens when that awareness seems shut down or cut off? I've been dealing with this for about a week where the happy, joyful feelings are overwhelmed by a dark, empty, heaviness. It feels like a personal black hole is sucking the energy right from me. Sound familiar?
It's not that I'm depressed or overly sad. In fact, on the surface I feel kind of normal (though my wife may something else.) It's when I look just below my surface mind and the daily distractions that I find this heaviness still lurking. The onset felt like getting punched in the gut. And even though there was no big event to trigger it, the small events piled up to eventually land a fatal blow.
But here's what I know. Moments of contraction like this provide an anchoring for growth. Even in the center of the pain, uncertainty, questions, and God-I-wish-this-would-just-stop-ness, we are growing by going deeper within ourselves. My great teacher, Dr. Sue Morter, shared that during this time it's our attention that needs focus. Don't hide from the feeling or label it with some pathology. (I know if I spoke to a doctor they would tell me I'm depressed.) Face it and look into it. No matter how hard. I'm afraid of looking into the darkness. It's taking every bit of courage and energy I have to go there. Yet I know that the only way to feel the light is to bring it.
As you face your fears, doubts, and darkness, know that others are carrying their own light into the same darkness. That's how we become in-lightened or enlightened. Here's to your light.
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